Dating: Times Have Changed

Inventing creative ways to introduce a hero and heroine to each other is a challenge writing in the romance genre. I suppose I can draw off my personal experiences, which are dull, or I could “borrow” my friend’s encounters, and spice them up a bit.

I could. But I don’t.

I prefer to conceive my own concepts. Experiment with different scenarios until I discover a method that works between the duo’s story I plan to tell. Like almost everything when writing a manuscript, forming future lover’s beginnings involves research.

My explorations led me to dabble in the latest way leading to coupledom.

Online dating: The internet has emerged as a popular way to meet potential mates. As a single, middle aged woman, I confess this approach doesn’t appeal to me, although I’m familiar with many who have met their soul mate through the internet. Either way, I thought it would make a great plot-line, and I decided to investigate.

I started by signing up on one of the more popular sites. My profile isn’t visible, but it allows me to view potential dates/mates. Warning: From here on, I’m going to pick on the guys, since their profiles are all I can see, but assessments insinuate women lack in this area, too.

So, here’s what I found:

The internet has made people lazy, my friends. I’m sure most people who use these sites are very nice, but little effort goes into constructing profiles. My initial wonder is, are they serious about finding their Ms. Right?

Think about the old days, spending Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights in clubs and disco’s. Everyone dressed up. We wore our nicest polyester, platforms gleamed, and shag haircuts were perfectly layered and drenched in Aqua Net.

I get it. Times have changed. But seriously.

Think I’m exaggerating? Look at a few pics I lifted from the dating site.

These gentlemen either look asleep, or they’ve been given bad news, or they’re mad, or they’ve photographed themselves gazing in a fun house mirror.

Speaking of mirrors, what’s this?  Selfie’s taken in the bathroom mirror??? Can I just say yuk!!!

Males also seemed to like to pose with dead animals. Polls show women don’t get too excited about pics of men and their carcasses. On the flip side, men aren’t thrilled over women who post snaps with their cats.

Pictures unfocused or sideways? Lazy. Flipping someone off? High school mentality. Tons of pictures in a bar embracing an alcoholic beverage? Do we have a problem? Numerous photographs at home. Never goes anywhere, and way too much into themselves.

No shower? No problem. Serial killer? Sure, why not!

And finally, a little mystery can be a good thing.

This is first impressions, folks.

I’m nitpicking, but the written bios are a big deal. The edit button was invented for a reason, take advantage. Complete sentences, capitalization and punctuation are important. Let’s talk about content. Anger? Next. Exposing personal baggage? Next. Wanting sex “all the time”. Next. Oh yeah, married but separated? Next.

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But by all means, write something!

Just want to spend time with someone

Okay, this part is especially for guys. I understand men don’t want some “ancient” unkempt lady on their arm. Trust me, women feel the same way, but let’s be realistic. Unless you’re Hugh Hefner, 18-35-year-old women are probably not going to jump at the chance to spend their lives (or even a second) with you. You’ll have a better shot in the real world.


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And this age thing goes on and on…

I confess, I only scraped the surface, but my observations are as follows. The premises of online dating has merit, except it also removes personalized accountability. It makes meeting others easy, but without much putting effort in the process.



About Debra Jupe

Hi, I’m Debra and I write romantic/suspense novels, with a bit of steam and a lot of fun. Creating stories is my passion. My favorite days are when I can tune out the universe, huddle over my laptop, and let my imagination go wild. More of my loves My kids-I am the proud mom of two. Son, Stephen and daughter, Hannah. I’m also a proud mother-in-law to Astrid and Ryan. I’m a huge animal lover and am “mom” to a houseful of adopted fur-babies. Animals know, when they show up at my house, they have a forever home. Texas-I’m a lifetime Texan. Born in Waco, I grew up in a small town, south of the city. In my early 20’s, I left and lived in different areas within the state. Twenty-eight years later, I happily returned home. I hope to have one more move in me. My dream is to live by the ocean, sit on the deck with a glass of wine and write. Bucket List accomplishments-In my 40’s, I did something I’d always wanted to do, which was return to school and further my education. I received my Bachelor’s Degree in 2011. My day job is working in the education system, teaching special needs children. Inspiration-Growing plants in my flower beds, painting, photography, travel (love the beach), I was born to shop-now if I just had the money, and I can be easily bribed with a tasty meal of Mexican food. Oh yeah, and chocolate. Lots of chocolate. Writing-I received my first publishing contract with The Wild Rose Press in 2013, and my initial release debuted in September the same year. I’m an active member of the Central Texas Romance Writers of America Chapter, and I serve as secretary of the group., Follow me on twitter @AuthorDebraJupe Keep up with the latest updates by liking my Facebook page or on my Facebook page Author Debra Jupe
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One Response to Dating: Times Have Changed

  1. Matthew Hays says:

    I’ll take the old fashion way and meet someone out of the blue!
    Great piece!


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